Friday, July 23, 2010

Baby Books pt. 1

Before Adam was born I was convinced I wasn't going to be one of those Baby Book moms. The ones who take a bazillion pictures of their baby in one day and keep detailed books and albums as he grows. Which is exactly what I have become. Except for the book part. Until now.

I decided that I do want a baby book for Adam. He learns new tricks all the time and I have developed the short term memory loss of a new mom and can't remember squat. So, what kind of baby book do I want? (The moms who say they make baby books for their kids are ridiculous. What kid grows up and bring his baby book to college? Nobody does that. Baby books are for moms. I wish everybody realized this.)

Let me be clear. I do not care for pastels. You will not find teddy bears holding balloons in my son's room. There is a total void of anything you would typically find in the room of a Strasburg child. I accept that other women may choose to bombard their child with Winnie the Poo, Mickey Mouse and that god-forsaken Dora the Explorer (HEY NICK JR. "Dora" and "explorer" DON'T really rhyme! Now, maybe if it was "explorah", like with a Boston accent...) but I am not one of them. Suddenly my baby book selection was very, very limited.
Here's the first one I ordered. It's called, "Baby's First Tattoo" for "Modern Parents". Perfect, right?

To be honest, this book would make a better funny shower gift than a real, honest-to-gosh documentary baby book. But maybe that's just because a lot of the situations in the book didn't happen to me. (For instance, there's a page on the parents' debating circumcision, a subject on which Tom and I completely agreed.)
This was the longest and most detailed baby book that I ordered, but, like I said, half of it is for fun ("Stuff Parents put in storage because baby started crawling", "Diameter of baby's head" "Diameter of hole baby's head came through").
And then I came to this page. How I wished I had saved Adam's foreskin so I could tape it right there beside his first projectile poo! Alas, some moments are lost forever.

This isn't the book to document all the wonderful, sunny, perfect moments of your lovely, well-behaved child. This is for the honest parent who realizes that it's okay that the baby just crapped directly on your hand while you were changing a diaper or that people who try to come up with "unusual" and "creative" baby names are really dooming their kid to a life of underhanded comments from older relatives who are butt-hurt because you didn't name your kid after them but won't admit it.

Overall, I really liked this book. It is snarky, sarcastic, and slightly inappropriate. It would seem as though it was made for me, but I found as I was looking through it that I wanted something a little more practical and a lot shorter.

I'm not keeping this one, as funny and cute as it is. I'm waiting for a certain friend to have baby so I can give it to her because it just SCREAMS her name. So, Brooke, hurry up and get pregnant!

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